Caged: Episode 9 – RECAP

[Really....Wes & Tony have matching crotches? And come on Daniel...we don't box in jeans....or smiles.]

Red & Wes: Red & wes sat awkwardly across the room while John Wesley looked miserable in-between, yet talked about how great they were getting along, while he contemplated his future room becoming a crib again. Wes talked about how he was from the hood and had to deal with his mom being a crap out & how that made him tough….then talked about how he was going to get back into fighting….and then didn’t. But he did rap….

Danger & Bri: They went to visit their dad & step-mom and seemed a lot happier there. Not that they don’t love their mom, but they get to act their age around their dad. We also came to find out that Danger & his sister are 90% their dad, and 10% their mom.

Tony: Tony continued to look scary & show his “don’t fuck with my face” when he was told he had to be a few fractions of a pound under the weight he had starved himself to make.  More importantly, he lied about winning in ping pong, when in fact, his girlfriend kicked his ass.

Daniel: Daniel went on a blind date, who was unfortunately, not blind. There were a lot of awkward silences, but he maintained his awkward, nice-guy, schpeal and won over the pageant girl, brunette. Daniel used his drive and asked some of the guys who he has lost to in the fast to train him on his weaknesses.

Christian: He remained the Yoda of caged.

Caged: Season 1: 2/27/12 – RECAP

[I've never wanted to be a punching bag less, in my life....]

Red & Wes: Red & Wes spent the night together & he played house for a few hours. After Red wasn’t around, he talked about how stupid girls are for thinking that something is serious after being together for a night. The episode went as usual for Wes. He starts it off complaining about not feeling good, and then proceeds to drink his weight in beer. Wes & John Wesley went out girl shopping at a local bar & while John Wesley was getting all of the girls, Wes was wallowing in beer depression talking about how much he needs Red. Typical.

John Wesley: John Wesley hooked up with a ring girl and said she was some kind of kray kray and had some fun but that he hopes she doesn’t think they have a “thing” going on. He, however, states that he does NOT just hook up with ring girls. He is an equal opportunity breakfast winner. He then went to the bar with Wes, and of course next to Wes, was picking up girls left and right. According to Danger, though, the catch in this episode was a little on the weapons of mass destruction side & MTV apparently “did him a service” by not showing her face. Burn. I like it.

Tony: Tony scared people by looking scary. Some guy came about their water bill & while Danger was having a bit of break down, Tony walked up to him and gave him a gator stare and he went away until next month. He continued to have enviable facial hair throughout the entire episode. His chops mean bid’niss. He fought some big ole burly guy who ended up tapping out, and after he won he proceeded to jump the cage like a spider monkey, again proving that he’s half man, half animal.

Daniel & Dane: Daniel & Dane had a girls night out….I mean boys. They went out for wine and steaks & Daniel actually wound up picking up the awkward waitress. This was his first successful attempt in quite some time. We learned that if you’re ever bored, you should ask Daniel to talk like a woman, and that he likes to take dates into corn fields in the middle of the night. Hot. Dane played trusty wing man throughout the entire episode.

Danger: Danger felt like doo the entire episode, probably has something to do with the fact that he’s 15lbs under what he would weight if he wasn’t fighting. The stress of his mom’s break-up and the gym being financially under was a little too much on the natural born badass and he handed the rights over to another fighter at the gym so he could concentrate on his own MMA career. That being said, even though he felt like absolute crap on a stick, he won his fight! Weeee DAYNGA.

Christian: Christian continued to be the MMA Yoda.

Best Quotes from the episode:

“It’s not an accident that I’m winning” -Danger

“Kind of like Dora the Explorer, but a more badass version.” -Daniel

“I think you forgot to fill my glass up.” -Daniel

“You’re off your friggin rocker” -Danger’s sister

“Knees & elbows FINISH FIGHTS QUICKLY.” -Trainer

“Everybody’s just humpin’ everybody, and there’s just more humpin’ goin’ on.” -Daniel

[Click here for the live commentary during the show!]